The Monkey King

The Monkey King was a magically powerful but extremely mischievous warrior clown who accompanied the Buddhist monk Xuanzang on his journey to India to seek the Buddhist scriptures.
The Monkey King could transform himself into 72 different beings such as a tree, a bird, a beast of prey, or a bug as small as a mosquito so as to be swallowed by an enemy in order to fight him from inside out.
He could travel on clouds 180,000 miles in a single somersault.
The Monkey King claimed to be sovereign of all he could survey, in defiance of the Great Emperor of Jade -— the only authority over heaven, the seas, the earth, and the subterranean world.
That act of high treason invited the relentless scourge of the Heavenly army to battle the Monkey King.

The Metal Man

The Metal Man is not animal or vegetable.
He is hard and made of mysterious alloys.
No one who knows him likes him very much.
For he lacks a certain joie de vivre.

The General

As the stench of death and dried blood began reeking over the battlefield...
And the few surviving soldiers painfully tended to their grievous wounds as best they could in the muck and the mud...
"No worries!" declared the General.
"We'll just conscript more troops and attack again to gain control of our neighboring country's natural resources!" he promised.
Right before he was shot in the back by his own men.

The Folly of Youth

The Folly of Youth controls the minds of young people...
So that they drive cars really fast and recklessly...
And abuse their bodies in all kinds of heady excesses...
And talk about themselves talking about themselves.

The Black Raven

The Black Raven in the tree close to the road is in fact a metaphor for the swift and dire changes that affect our lives but over which we have no control.
The road kill below is in fact us, sideswiped by the turbulent and frantic chaos of our modern age.
There we are, agonizing by the side of the road of life...
While the rich and powerful pass us by smugly in their BMWs.
Guest artist: Pierre Otis

Green Gnome

Green Gnome looks up at your bar-be-cue party from his blade of grass.
Green with envy and full of spite.
His mind is full of dirty tricks he wants to play on you.
Time for the lawnmower.

Parrot Face

Parrot Face came in a flying saucer and landed on Earth.
He looked around and got to know humanity better.
Then he left and returned to his home planet.
In his written report about his visit, he recommended his kind should immediately move to another galaxy.

Valentinestein

Guest artist: Jordan N. Jensen

The Squirrel That Lives Under Our Shed

Here on Dr. Moreau's island off the Labrador coast, there is a big squirrel that lives under our shed during winter.
Sometimes early in the morning when it snows, you can see it running along telephone wires.
It chases birds and other squirrels away.
I suppose it lives on provisions it stashed away during summer.

The Pestering Ghost

In one of the lowest of the eighteen levels of Hades, the Pestering Ghost torments people who were bad in their previous lives.
In a higher level, people who weren't particularly good or bad are reincarnated into turtles and chickens in order to try, try again.
If au contraire one is judged to have been good, then one is sent to Heaven and become an immortal.
Along with Madonna and Christina Aguilera.

The Accountant

The Accountant is a monster that helps you with your income taxes.
He knows the loopholes and can get a you refund from the government.
He'll even help you open a new bank account in the tax haven of Atlantis.
They have good intetest rates there and they are very discreet.
Blub, lub.

The Vacation Advocate

Guest artist: Jordan N. Jensen

Den Torr

Den Torr only has three teeth.
Most fearsome dentists have many more sharp teeth than that.
But Den Torr is glad.
His dentist has less teeth to fix.

The Blue Bird from Andromeda

The Blue Bird from Andromeda is too small to be seen by a telescope back here on planet Earth.
He is too small even to be noticed by the Hubble Telescope orbiting far above us.
But this monster's song is so glorious that other creatures die of bliss after hearing him.
So stay over there, Blue Bird.
(with guest artist Pierre Otis)

Arnie the Alligator

Arnie the Alligator likes to relax after work.
But every time his favorite TV show begins...
The phone rings and someone tries to sell him something over the phone.
Fortunately, Arnie is now using voodoo dolls to fight back.

The Birthday Cake Monster

The innocent little child gently approached the Birthday Cake Monster with a sharp, steely knife.
"Don't eat me little one, even though I am delicious," begged the monster desperately.
But the kid cut out a chunk of him.
"Must... hang... on... to... my...icing," gasped the monster in agony.
But the icing was strawberry flavored.

The Great Unwashed Monster

The Great Unwashed Monster believes in being green and not wasting water.
Also, that perfumed soap causes skin cancer.
There's really nothing wrong with bathing in your sweat.
It's healthy, honest.

The Galactic Salesman Who Sold Immortality

My spaceship had landed, and I was now in the cosmic bazaar.
When I first met the Galactic Salesman Who Sold Immortality, he told me:
"Come in, my friend, I have something very special just for you!"
"I understand human beings do not live very long... You are fortunate we met, for here on my planet we have a potion that will give you immortality."
So we came to an agreement.
I gave him all the money I had on me and he gave me a vial containing some glowing, green liquid.
I drank it down.
That was 500 years ago, and I still look and feel the same as that fateful day I drank the miraculous fluid...
That same day I started my monthly installment payment plan.

Yellow Smile

Yellow Smile is going to see the dentist for the very first time.
"Do you have an insurance plan?" asks the dentist's receptionist.
"No," admits the monster.
Soon his smile will be sparkling white again.

Musclebound

Musclebound is a monster that has muscles everywhere.
He works out every waking hour.
While he sleeps, his body absorbs protein drinks intravenously.
Be he's not just all brawn with no brains...
He can also recite the alphabet for you!

The Cat Mummy

The Cat Mummy used to belong to the Pharaoh.
One day, the old Pharaoh tripped and died.
All of his belongings, including his cat, were buried along with him in a glorious pyramid honoring him.
Meow.

Goldigger Goldie

Goldigger Goldie is an ambitious tap dancing showgirl on her distant planet.
She has caught the lecherous eye of the Producer of the show she plays in.
If she plays her cards right...
And I don't mean maybe!
She might hook up with that fat cat's roots.
(drawing by Bertrand, feet penciled by Benjamin)

The Astral Conditioning Counselor

"Thought pollution is preventing you from being in tune with your vibrational forces," explains the Astral Conditioning Counselor.
"De-connect from thought and attain the true reality within."
"It really isn't very hard, you know."
"There! You did it for a moment. Did you notice?"

The Desirable Princess Ronnn-ee

The Desirable Princess Ronnn-ee was so cute all the men on her planet webt crazy over her.
Her father the Emperor had to do something about her chastity...
For no man could be trusted!
So he ordered all the men be disintegrated.
Looking back in hindsight, it might not have been the best solution.
(pencils by Benjamin, inks by Bertrand)

Horse Face

Horse Face never won a race.
He never competed in the Kentucky Derby.
He can't run very fast.
But he sure can watch TV!

Galactic Gigolo

There will come a day for Galactic Gigolo...
When youth will fade away.
In the meantime though...
He's making the big bucks!

The Monster in your closet

The Monster in your closet will roar when you open the door.
You will jump back in fear while the beast lumbers out.
Freed from its mystical entrapment, it is now ready to attack, drool dripping from its fangs.
Nothing ambivalent there, really.

The Monster with the Desintegrator Glove

likes to shoot things.
He enjoys blowing things up.
Sometimes he eradicates an alien civilization all by himself.
When that happens, it really makes his day.