The Stained Glass Monster

Don't throw a rock on the Stained Glass Monster...
Or he will be smashed into tiny pieces!
Some people call those shards smithereens.
But the important thing to remember is that you can cut your finger on broken glass.

The Bloodthirsty Executioner

There used to be a nice little old lady who worked in our human resources
department.
She had a big jar of jellybeans on her desk and you were welcome to drop
by her desk any time to chat about dental coverage and munch on candy.
But that lady has left the company and been replaced by the Bloodthirsty
Executioner.
He's not a very nice person and kind of scary.
Whenever you cross him in the hall and ask him how's the weather?
He replies, "Behead! Behead! It's a good day to behead!"
I think the morale at our company is not as good as it used to be.

X-Factor

X Factor is a monster that is unpredictable.
He never does the same thing the same way twice in a row.
One day he wants to eat a ham sandwich.
The next day he gets a craving for caviar.
He's very complex and hard to figure out.

Togo

Togo is a monster that can detect chocolate from 100 miles away.
Chocolate is all he eats.
He will hunt down any candy bar in the vicinity.
He's the Easter Bunny's worst nightmare.

Roberto the Robot

Roberto the Robot wakes up in the morning and checks his systems for
malfunctioning parts.
He always checks out OK.
Then he oils his joints and rushes off to catch the bus to work.
At the factory he works hard on an 18 hour shift.
During his lubrification breaks he dreams of a life of adventure...
When his shift is over, he takes the long bus ride home.
He plugs himself into the wall to recharge his batteries and powers off.

Disgruntled

Disgruntled is a dragon who is not satisfied with the flames he breathes out.
They are not hot enough, he has decided, because the knights are not fried to a crispy crunch as soon as they fall within range.
Also, he would like his flame to be different colors, like blue and red, and not just orange.
Some monsters are never satisfied.

The Scary Warlock of the Deep

The Scary Warlock of the Deep hides deep underwater in the sunken wrecks of pirate ships.
He counts the gold coins in the treasure chests overgrown with coral reefs.
He cackles to himself and bubbles come out of his nostrils.
One day a deep sea diver will come lurking, and then...

Broot-O

Broot-O is a monster with an anger management problem.
One day he got upset at his boss and quit his job.
Another day his best friend in the world was annoying him so he became furious and broke something.
Broot-O, do you want to die alone?

Six Eyes

Six Eyes is a monster that sees many things.
Things that no one else notices.
Things that only he can see.
If only Six Eyes would stop being so smug and tell us all about them

Petal Face

Petal Face is a monster that hides in the garden.
On a warm sunny day, he creeps in the flower bush.
If you come too close...
He spits pollen in your eye.

Serpentorr

Serpentorr's favorite breakfast is bacon and eggs.
He likes to have it as often as possible.
Some people say that bacon and eggs are unhealthy and will clog your arteries.
Serpentorr knows all about this.
But he would rather spend his time enjoying life rather than worrying about it all the time.

Bandito

When Bandito says for you to, "Draw, Mister!"
He doesn't mean with a felt-tipped marker.
He wants you to whip out your pistol and go "Bang! Bang!"
And please don't misinterpret what I just said.

Luthorr

Luthorr is a boatman monster in training.
One day he will take over the ferry ride over the river Styx that delivers souls to Hell.
When he will be in charge of rowing, his salary will be pretty good and he will have a good pension too.
But right now he has to do as he's told and follow orders

Murray the Monster

Murray the Monster is not very macho or scary.
In fact, he is sort of tired and feeble looking.
That's because he plays too many video games late in the night.
He never sleeps.
You look wiped out, Murray!

Ozone

Ozone the Magician does sleight-of-tentacle tricks.
He shows you a card and it mysteriously disappears...
Only to re-appear held by another tentacle.
It's all done with suction cups.

Lizzy

Lizzy is a monster that doesn't like to have its name rhymed with "Dizzy".
He also hates to be called "Busy Lizzy".
In fact he's just plain fed up with everyone calling him names to bug him.
So he's going to do something about it.

Fredmore

Fredmore is a bodybuilding monster who has taken too many steroids.
He's chug-a-lugged protein drinks for years and years.
And he's grown and grown, and his muscles have bulged out beyond belief...
Unfortunately, now he cannot move an inch.

Kublatu

Kublatu is a monster that works honestly and well at his job in the factory.
Day in, day out.
But his boss does not appreciate his efforts, he just wants to exploit him even more.
Kublatu's fate is not of his own choosing.

Dead Eyes

Dead Eyes is a monster that has lost all hope.
He has seen as far as is possible, billions of years into the future...
And seen the end of our universe as it contracts into less than the size of a peanut.
Everything crushed into oblivion.
Dead Eyes has trouble staying cheerful about it.

The Bank Robber

The Bank Robber holds up financial institutions because that's where the
money is.
At least, that's what he thought when he read about billion dollar
bailouts in the newspaper.
But when he got there and told everyone to stick 'em up...
He was wrestled to the ground by a couple of strong politicians who had been carrying in some gold bars.

Billy the Zebra Monster from Dimension Z

Billy is half boy, half mutant Zebra Monster from Dimension Z.
In the morning he goes to school and learns how to read and count.
In the evenings he is transported to Dimension Z by television beams.
When he is there,
the only thing that can bring him back home is his Mom saying: "Suppertime!"

Becker the Brain

Becker the Brain is a monster that likes to go to job interviews.
He likes being asked the same questions over and over.
"What are your career goals?"
"Do you prefer working alone or in a team environment?"
"Do you have 12 years experience with Adobe E-Z Dog Catching software?"
But Becker's favorite question always is, "Where do you see yourself five
years from now?"
He always answers the same thing:
"Doing more job interviews!"

(this 30 year old doodle by Robert was discovered in a student textbook in
2010)

Snorkester

Snorkester is a monster that has a heightened sense of smell.
He can smell a blooming rose from miles away.
He knows there is a garbage dump a hundred miles away.
It's both a gift and a curse.

Kreepor

Kreepor is a monster that floats like the morning mist...
He penetrates your mind while you sleep...
And gives you horrible nightmares...
Then he writes up his misdeeds and sells the movie rights to Hollywood...

Lucretia

Lucretia is a man-eating monster vegetable.
But please, do not compare her to a gynormous venus fly trap, she gets offended easily.
Gynormous venus fly traps simply sit and wait for their victims.
Lucretia slithers after her victims at fifty miles per hour!

Hell's Chicken

This monster is a very bad house guest.
You do not want to invite him over for a weekend to shoot the breeze.
And above all...
Do not sleep at night with the Hell's Chicken

Wee One

Wee One came in a spaceship from far away to collect specimens of plants
and flowers on planet Earth.
Unfortunately he picked up some genetically modified soybean instead.
And some Monsanto potatoes with a lot of systemic pesticides in them.
And the wheat seeds he picked up are trademarked.

Sourpuss

Sourpuss never stops to complain about the weather.
If it isn't one thing, it's another.
Either it's too cold outside....
Or the weather is too nice.
Or again, it is nice now, but it will probably rain later.
That's because according to Sourpuss...
Things always get worse, sooner or later.

Fireballster

Fireballster is a dragon living in the 21rst Century.
It googles, texts on a Blackberry, and calls on an iPhone and belches fire in between.
In case you don't know this already, it's called multi-tasking.
You wouldn't believe what insurance premiums Fireballster has to pay each month.

The Purple and Orange Vampire

It is fortunate for the Purple and Orange Vampire that he only stalks prey at night...
Because he is so colorful that in the daytime his prey would see him come from a mile away.
It is pretty unusual for vampires not to dress in black.
I guess the Purple and Orange Vampire is making a fashion statement

Twinhead

When Twinhead wants to cross the street, he looks to the right and to the
left.
Both at the same time.
He is a monster who keeps proving that two heads are better than one.
Not only that, but both heads are on speaking terms.