All Mixed Up

All Mixed Up is a monster who works as a clerk in a department store at the shopping center.
He would like to work in the Toy section, but he has to work in Shoes instead.
He never passed his Toy exam.
Whenever someone asks him to fetch a pair of shoes from the back, he always brings back the wrong size.
Or he brings back a pair of lady's shoes for a man.
The clients become annoyed with him and leave.
The manager get angry.
Winter season is hardest for All Mixed Up, with all sorts of boots and galoshes to keep track of on the racks.
It gets so confusing.
It's hard making a living in the 21rst Century, but still, All Mixed Up has hopes that one day...
He will work in the Toy section.

General Klorp

General Klorp surveyed his lieutenants in the command center.
"The enemy has captured the golden tower of cheese," he declared.
"And he is eating it all!
Soon he'll have a tummy ache.
That's when we'll counter attack!

Strange Alien

Strange Alien never speaks a word.
Strange Alien moves quietly.
He slowly sneaks up on you...
And then, BAM!

The Spotted Being

The Spotted Being once surprised several leopards in Africa...
And absorbed their life essences!
The leopards became spotless!
Now, to this day...
The Spotted Being himself hunts for gazelles in the brush, hungry for blood!
And thus the snow leopards came to be.

Rectanglehead

Rectanglehead has a harpoon at the end of his arm
With which he catches whales.
But because it isn't nice to hunt whales,
He lets them go after he has caught them.

Gargantuor

Gargantuor is learning how to count.
Seven plus two is...
Five?
No, Gargantuor.
Six?
No seven is more than six, Gargantuor.
We'll try it again tomorrow.
... And maybe after tomorrow as well.
Sigh.

Luigi

Luigi is a famous monster who designs expensive furniture.
Every object he conceives is very beautiful.
His lounge chairs are divine to look at, as well as to sit in.
Luigi has so much good taste it's scary.
He makes you hate yourself for keeping that lousy old chair in your own kitchen.

The head on a whip

The head on a whip is bounced around by the evil alien.
"Ouch!" it yells. "Ow, that hurts!"
But the alien will not stop.
It enjoys whacking the head against a wall.
Soon the wall begins to move, inch by inch.

(penciled by Benjamin, inked by Bertrand)

The Three Brothers From Snark

The Three Brothers From Snark
All became crooks on a lark
But their bite was not as bad as their bark
And when in the middle of night they headed off to the park
They tried to mug a tree in the dark

The Purple-Tongued Greet

The Purple-Tongued Greet always tries to sweet-talk himself out of trouble.
If he makes a mistake, he says it was an accident.
If he is caught doing something bad, he claims he is a victim of circumstance and blames it on someone else.
You won't get away with it, Greet!

Tina

Tina is coming to visit.
With a good heart and a cheerful smile...
She will make everybody's day better!
Tina is so wonderful...
The Coca Cola company has decided to bottle her.

Hiccuping Harry

Harry cannot stop hiccuping,
No matter what he tries.
It makes him quite cross...
But he has tried everything he can think of.
Drinking a glass of water his head upside down,
Tickling the roof of his mouth with his tongue,
nothing seems to work.
Hic!
Hic!
Harry is an unhappy demon.

George

This here is George.
He lives in the Rain Forest that Snows.
He loves Tater Tots and Bananas!
He lives in a cozy cave.
His family lives on Mars.
(Thanks to guest artist Chloe D. from Chigaco)

Izbut

I am Izbut and I like the seashore in Maine in July.
The sun shines, there are exotic shells on the beach, the smell of the ocean is wonderful and the sound of the crashing of the waves soothes the soul.
Scantily clad earthly females jog on the edge of the surf.
I like to catch and eat the fat ones.

The fluid alien with a priceless ruby in his head

You will not meet the fluid alien with a priceless ruby in his head casually on the street.
Untold riches will be for the person who reaches in and grabs the jewel.
But watch out!
The watery, drippy alien will defend it with all his might.

Bread Squeezer

Bread Squeezer is a monster with the annoying habit of squeezing loaves of bread at the supermarket.
He squeezes several, but only buys one.
Then he leaves the other loaves all scrunched up for the other customers.
Bread Squeezer only thinks of himself.

Disintegrated Man

Disintegrated Man was zapped by a laser beam.
His atoms were dissociated but his aura is still floating around.
He ponders his state of being in absolute silence...
One day he hopes to return for revenge!

The Fate Monster

The Fate Monster is a mysterious being...
Who floats in a cloud of purple mist...
On an island in space...
In another dimension...
Of another universe...
He's far out!

Electric Blue

Electric Blue is gonna zap you!
It's going to hurt!
Owww!
Stay away, oh oh oh!
From that mean old blurry monster...
Electric Blue.

Grinning Fool

Grinning Fool is happy-go-lucky,
Without a care in the world,
Carefree and fancy-free.
He gives everyone who passes by,
A very silly smile indeed.
He's been like that ever since he made a fortune
By acting in TV commercials.

Spidro from Outer Space

Spidro from Outer Space attacks!
He uncoils his metallic tentacles menacingly...
He wants to conquer a planet!
But first he has to go the bathroom.

The Vacuum Monster

Early on Sunday morning when everyone is still asleep...
When you stayed out late the night before...
The Vacuum Monster starts cleaning as loud as he can!
Stop that infernal racket, Vacuum Monster!
And let us go back to sleep!
But no!
A monster has got to do his job no matter what.

Toothache

Toothache is a monster who has eaten too much Halloween candy without brushing his teeth.
His hygienist tells him he should floss more.
His orthodontist tells him it’s going to cost five grand.
His dentist has given up the practice and become a plumber.

Moon Face

Moon Face is an astrology buff.
He’s a gemini, which makes him gregarious, happy to be with people.
Now he wants to know your own sign.
Were you born in February? Or July?
Do you like books and the great outdoors?
Do you taste good?

Crapulus

Crapulus would like to dance the Blue Danube waltz over the fire pits of hell, but he has no partner.
All the she-devils say he has bad brimstone breath.
Otherwise he's a really nice demon, they all agree.
Unfortunately, being nice gets you demoted down below.

Smiley

Smiley just painted a front door with soap while no one was looking.
He's giggling to himself, hee hee hee.
He's mean.
Someday someone will get back at Smiley...
And then he'll be sorry.

Green Beard

Green Beard is forthcoming.
His imminence is looming.
His presence overhangs our futurity.
Soon.

Mister Monster With An Attitude

Scaring ordinary people is for peasants.
The really high class monsters scare Prime Ministers...
Or the President...
Or the Queen in her bath tub...
Says Mister Monster With An Attitude.
Of course, the Queen in a bath tub is pretty scary as well.