Big Boo and Little Boo

Big Boo and Little Boo can't wait to go trick or treating.
Halloween is the most wonderful day of the year for ghosts and supernatural spirits.
Flitting about, they mill with unsuspecting throngs of disguised children lugging big plastic pumpkins filled with candy.
The best part is when they go to Mr. Smith's house and Mr. Smith laughs and tries to guess who is hiding under the bed sheet.
Mr. Smith would lose his dentures if he found out.

The Time Monster

The Time Monster is a being that measures the fluctuations in the time it takes for you to wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
He peers at you through the fifth dimension and takes notes.
One day the Time Monster will make your report card public...
So please take all the time it takes.

Bee-bee

Bee-bee is a she-monster who is quite a busybody.
Whenever she meets someone in the street, she will ask them...
"So how's your love life these days dear, hmmmm?"
Unsurprisingly, some people are reluctant to elaborate on this subject.
In those cases, Bee-bee will exclaim...
"Honey, you're married, not dead!"

Star Nose

Star Nose has a big red star-shaped birth mark on his nose.
He is very self-conscious about it.
He is afraid other monsters will make fun of it.
It's hard growing up being afraid.

The Anonymous Monster

The Anonymous Monster tries to get by incognito.
He's hoping no one will recognize him.
He hasn't learned yet that...
One can never escape his conscience!

Penny Saver

Penny Saver is a monster that likes to add cash to his piggy bank.
He doesn't like to spend money unless he has to.
It's so hard to earn a few bucks.
And so easy to spend.

Bix

Bix has a really nice voice, and after some voice coaching, he became a professional announcer.
For a while, he tried being a dee-jay on a "formatted rock" radio station, but he soon quit when the station refused to let him play his favorite band, Kraftwerk, on the air.
Next, Bix tried being the weather guy on local TV, but he hated wearing a stuffy suit and tie under the hot lamps of the studio.
Finally, he found his calling as a triple-A baseball team announcer.
He loves the game and doesn't have to wear a dumb costume.
Bix realizes now it's important to do what you love.

Grrr Grrr

Grrr Grrr is a monster that is all bark and no bite.
He threatens and menaces, but never does anything.
He waves his dagger finger and club at anyone he meets...
Snarling and drooling at the same time...
But the only time he hurt anyone was when he accidentally dropped his club on his own foot.

Blue Protoplasm

Blue Protoplasm doesn't want to change schools, but his parents believe the new school has a better program focused on the basics.
And that the teachers there will not be following the bad example of an disinterested, pencil-pushing school principal.
And that facing changes will make Blue Protoplasm a more versatile person when he is grown up.
But Blue Protoplasm is sad because he will lose all his friends in the old school.
You will make new friends, Blue Protoplasm, you'll see!

The Cosmo Gladiator

Armed with a sword and determined to win...
The Cosmo Gladiator enters the arena!
He will face starved Gromp Beasts and ferocious Three-Headed striped lions from Alpha Centauri in a fight to the death!
Afterwards, he plans to have a chocolate ice cream cone.

The Molecular Chicken

The Moonzanto Company recently obtained a patent for their new Molecular Chicken Monster.
Needless to say, opponents of genetically-modified foods are horrified.
Here is a beast that mutates as you cook it.
The only nice thing I can see about it is that its leftover juices make exceptional insecticide for your lawn and garden.
(with guest artist: Pierre Otis)

Blackie

Blackie is a monster that would like to be red.
Instead, it was born black and it is unlikely he will change color as he grows older.
Blackie has thought of body paint, but that is bound to leave a mess on the carpet.
And getting tattooed from head to toe might be somewhat painful.

The Globular Monster

On the Globular Monster's home planet, each new head you grow on your body has the right to vote.
This can sometimes lead to situations of conflict.
The smaller, younger heads usually want to vote for the radical green parties, while the older, wiser heads want to vote for the conservative parties.
It gets so bad, some heads refuse to talk to other heads for many years.
(guest contributor: Hayden, Benjamin’s friend)

Peebo

Peebo is the last member of his race.
His kind was hunted down because of their precious fingernails.
Each of Peebo's fingernail is worth a fortune, worth hundred times more than gold or platinum.
But Peebo knows nothing about this.
He let his fingernails grow just so he could play the guitar better.
(guest contributor: Johanne, Benjamin’s mother).

Bowlegged

Bowlegged is a monster that always dreamed of winning the 100 meter race at the Olympics.
It's all he thinks about, running! And getting the gold medal!
Unfortunately, nature was not kind to him and did not provide him with a stature that would permit him such a feat.
Face the facts, Bowlegged!

Indezz Trukto

Indezz Trukto is a warrior from another world.
While some of us are dreamers,
Awed by the stars and galaxies in the night sky...
Indezz Trukto wanders the spaceways just looking for a fight.

The Astro Bed Bug

Last month, our family went to Toronto to see a baseball game.
We slept in a motel.
We brought back with us...
The Astro Bed Bug.
While you sleep, this tiny insect monster sneaks up on you and bites down hard on your naked flesh.
The exterminator charged us an arm and a leg himself as well.

The Silicon Being

The Silicon Being is a monster who designs new micro-chips for the Intel Corporation in Silicon Valley.
He makes the transistors in the chips so small, you would need to enlarge the processor to beyond the size of a house to see one.
32 nanometers is pretty small.
When asked how much smaller micro-chips can be made and how long Moore's law will hold out...
The Silicon Being smiles and says, "Don't worry about it."

The Great Horny Harrooms

Once the Great Horny Harrooms were everywhere, majestic beasts over twelve feet tall quietly grazing in the green prairies.
But our human ancestors discovered these dangerous-looking animals were actually dull-witted, quite slow...
And very tasty.
Today, there are no more Harrooms left.
When will we ever learn?

Voodoo Angel

Voodoo Angel is a laconic monster who likes to keep his private life private.
The little he told us about himself was in Creole and we don't want to mis-translate.
Also, we're afraid to make voodoo jokes because, apparently, Voodoo is a legitimate religion on the island of Haiti.
Therefore, all we can respectfully say about Voodoo Angel is...
He is sort of funny looking.

The Merry Martian

One day, the Merry Martian was quietly eating a red rock on his desert planet surface when he noticed a NASA robotic rover approach from far away.
"Quickly, clones!" he cried. "We must flee!"
Instantly, all the symbiotic little ones that were clinging to him let go and scrambled underground to hide in dark caverns.
As for the Merry Martian, well, he slowly melted into the sandy ground until there was nothing left of him to see.
Many years later, NASA is still looking for signs of life on Mars.

Carrot Top

Don't lend anything to Carrot Top.
Carrot Top is a monster that borrows books and toys and never returns them.
Even if you ask for them back.
Carrot Top always replies, "But I already returned it!"
Even though he knows it isn't true.
It's hard to say if there is such a thing as divine retribution for people like Carrot Top.
But it's a nice thought.

One-eyed Oxford

One-eyed Oxford is an optimistic monster.
He only sees things one way: in a positive light.
He is always cheerful and happy.
When things get rough and awful events occur...
Oxford seems even happier.
After all, things can only get better!

Fly Right

Fly Right sees everything and is a stickler for the rules.
He tells the kids not to ride their bicycles on the sidewalk.
He tells Asian tourists not to climb into the flower bed to take pictures in public parks.
He jumps in front of cars which didn't halt at the stop sign long enough.
That's why he's in the hospital right now.

Perth

Perth is a million years old.
If he had known he would live this long, he would have exercised more.
And eaten more fruits and fibre.
And quit smoking cigars.
Sadly, today Perth feels like an old monster.

Footloose

Footloose thinks he dances well, but he doesn't.
In his mind he is suave like Fred Astaire.
Smooth like Gene Kelly.
In reality, he looks more like someone flailing after accidentally being shot in the foot.

Fluffy

Fluffy is half Bouvier des Flandres, half Pekingese and half monster.
He eats fifteen bags of dog chow a day.
Fortunately we live close to a dark forest...
We let him out every night by himself to do his business.
Good boy, Fluffy!

The Mist Creature

The Mist Creature is a blurry being who lived in the London fog in the late 19th Century.
Somewhere in the Lower East Side to be precise.
His idea of fun was to creep up close to ladies in the dense fog.
They never realized he was there until they could smell his bad breath...

Mumu the Eskimo Monster

Mumu the Eskimo Monster lived in the arctic snow.
One day he got fed up with the cold weather and decided to move south.
So Mumu boxed all his belongings and called the moving company.
They came in dog-sleds and made the relocation quite painless.

WC Monster

Public toilet, Horseshoe Bay, B.C.
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

The Mutant Baritone

is a monster with a wonderful singing voice.
He has wowed audiences at the Metropolitan Opera, the Houston Grand Opera, the Bayreuth Festspielhaus and at La Scala.
But he is even better known for his regular visits singing "Let's All Go to the Ball Game" at home games in the New York Yankees ball park.