The Imperial Phantom

The Imperial Phantom insists on protocol!
The ghosts of eunuchs and concubines must make themselves discreet while he has an imaginary cup of tea...
All is not well with the universe, thinks the Imperial Phantom.
Nothing is as it seems!

The Visionnaire

The Visionnaire sees far and wide.
In planes of existence you cannot even guess.
He sees beyond doubt and guilt.
Into a better world we all wish we could view.

The Creep

With hardly a peep...
The Creep appears from the deep...
It reaches the roadside with a leap...
It does not listen to a beep...
And is hit by a jeep.
Please, don't weep.
It was a Creep.

Raptrodon the Beguiled

Raptrodon the Beguiled is a monster who has been deceived by politicians...
They promised him less taxes!
They promised him a rose garden!
They promised him a free lunch!
Instead they gave him more taxes.
A flower pot full of ragweed.
And told him there was a cost overrun because of bureaucratic mistakes...
So now he had to pay for his own lunch!

Frezno

Frezno is a cynical clown with evil powers.
He can jinx you and give you bad luck if you don't laugh at his jokes.
Unfortunately when he puts a spell on you, that will make you even sadder.
At that point there's less chance that you will laugh at his antics, which will make him even madder.
Brrrrr.

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Sad but true!
We’ll be back on October 27

Chameleon Face

Chameleon Face entered the general store on Tuesday morning.
He looked everywhere for his favorite daily paper.
Finally he found it.
He bought it and took it home to read the sports section.
Chameleon Face is a happy monster.

The Crazy Letters from Outer Space

Writing is the representation of language in a textual medium through the use of a set of signs or symbols
But who said it couldn’t be fun... try it, you might like it.
We are the Crazy Letters from Outer Space.
And we’re here to cross the Ts and dot the Is.

Happy Ho

Happy Ho is never sad.
He is glad no matter what the weather is.
When it is sunny, he goes to play outside.
When it is rainy, he reads library books inside.
There's always something to do and learn.

Lonely Gus of Planet Mars

Lonely Gus of Planet Mars saw the strange robot satellite coming from Earth.
It was going to collect dust and take pictures for NASA.
But it scared Gus and he shot it down.
He didn't want to be bothered by salesmen you see.
It makes him frown and ruins his day.
"Next time I'm going to blow up that planet if it sends another flyer here!" Gus exclaims.

Computerized Man

Computerized Man...
Is Plugged into the wireless LAN...
He does what he can...
To cool his CPU fan...

Computerized Man...
He has a monitor tan...
On viruses he put a ban...
He's lost on the WAN...

Computerized Man!
Computerized Man!
Computerized Man!
Computerized Man!
Compu --

Quiet Quimby

Quiet Quimby does not talk a lot.
That's because he's kind of shy.
It's no fun being shy.
Why don't you make friends with Quiet Quimby?

Just an Ordinary Devil

He's just an Ordinary Devil who missed the bus...
He was on his way to see his beloved Lucifera...
Who lived on the other side of the Inferno...
In the flaming suburb of Burning Babylonia.
She would eventually break up with him because he missed the rendez-vous.
Anyway Lucifera preferred another incandescent Emperor of Evil over him.
The souls this new Emperor heaped upon Lucifera were more tasty, you see.
And so the Ordinary Devil returned to his dismal cave of pain.
Taking out his frustration on all those wretches sent down to him...
For the rest of eternity.

The Vegetarian Troll

The Vegetarian Troll likes to prepare his own salad.
He particularly enjoys chopping the greens with his big axe.
It's important to use canola oil and not too much vinegar in the seasoning.
Once in a while, the Vegetarian Troll tops his garden salad with a clementine, just to shake things up.

Perry the Pirate

Perry the Pirate is attacking an interstellar bank spaceship!
The laser cannons are fired!
Inevitably, the cosmic Blackbeard will plunder all the gold.
But money can't buy you happiness, Perry the Pirate!

The Great Illuminator

The Great Illuminator has a blinding truth to reveal.
He wants to share the knowledge of the cosmos with you.
To reveal the greatness of his deep thoughts.
Always just when you desperately need to go to the bathroom.

Frogface

Frogface likes to stick his tongue out at the other kids.
And go, "Nyahh! Nyahh! Nyahh! Nyahh! Nyaa-aahh!"
That's not a nice thing to do, Frogface.
Nobody likes to be taunted that way.

The Magnet Worm

The Magnet Worm attracts its prey with its tail.
Zap! And its victim is caught.
There is no escape from Magnet Worm's sharp teeth...
Glob! Glob!
And the victim is gone.

Insectoid

All right, cosmic bank...
This is a stick-up!
My name is Insectoid and I am public enemy number three
Of the entire milky way!
And working hard to improve my ranking, naturally.

Nebulonn

Please, Nebulonn, come out and play with us?
Only please, this time...
Don't use your X-Ray Eyes,
When we play hide-and-go-seek?

Myster-Khan

Myster-Khan has conquered the world!
You are his slaves and you must obey Myster-Khan!
Myster-Khan likes pastel colors and delicate gardens.
Here is the paint and shovel, there is the ugly highway.
Fix it!

The Pulsating Brain

The Pulsating Brain absorbs wisdom.
He just sits there and finds out everything you know.
This is really quite unfair, as everyone else has to learn things the hard way, by slowly learning to read and write.
Some monsters have all the luck.

The sinister ventriloquist's dummy

The sinister ventriloquist's dummy is propped in a corner of the room.
Everything is calm and quiet, but it's getting dark...
What is that?!
Did it just move?
It must be my imagination...

Abner

Abner is a vain and pretentious demon.
He thinks his wings are the most glorious in the Inferno.
And his fork is the sharpest.
And he's the greatest thing since burned white bread.

Squeebee

Squeebee wants to be an olympic athlete.
Not for the summer olympics, but for the winter olympics.
He doesn’t care if it’s a biathlon, a triathlon or a pentathlon.
Or a square dance on a hockey rink.
He just wants to win and be number one!
Go for the gold, Squeebee!

Multihands

Multihands can fix any car, he's quite handy.
In fact he has lots of arms which he can use as tools.
One arm is like a universal screwdriver.
Another arm is like a gasoline station pump.
No, I don't know where the gas comes from.
It's a mystery.

The Sensitive Humpback who Sells new Ford Hybrid cars

The Sensitive Humpback who Sells new Ford Hybrid cars
Looks at you straight in the eyes, and whimpers and pleads.
"No one loves me, no one is buying the cars in my lot," he cries.
"It is a fate worse than death, an agony for the soul..."
He dances a little curse on my head right then and there.
He's pretty good at making you feel guilty that you like the Volkswagen better.

The Eye on the Box

The Eye on the Box flies high in the sky, oh yeah!
It's looking down at you, and staring down at me. oh yeah!
It was built by the Americans to spy.
And it found out everything they needed to know...
About over here, oh no!