My pet monster Buddy

My pet monster Buddy has a bad habit.
He sneaks around at night in the neighbor's yards and turns over garbage cans.
Then he rips the garbage bags inside to shreds and leaves a messy trail all over the lawns.
Unsurprisingly, no one on our street is on talking terms with us any more.
Buddy is a good pet, I just don't understand why he is hungry all the time.
After all, we feed him enough cats every day.

Street Monster

Corner of Pine St & 12th Ave, Seattle.
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

Gargouille

Gargouille is a Parisian Monster who makes a living fixing the stone work on the front of old cathedrals.
He is a true master craftsman and all his fellow co-workers admire him.
His skill at renovating old stone sculptures is next to none.
While he works chipping away the old mortar with his chisel, sometimes he gets all covered up with dust.
The American tourists think he's just another statue and take pictures of him.

Street Monster

Corner of Pine St & 12th Ave, Seattle.
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

Street Monster

Pike Place Market, Seattle
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

The Jogger

The Jogger is a monster who runs in the street on a busy thoroughfare.
He is never seen in a park or on a sidewalk.
His purpose in life is to make motorists slow down as they narrowly pass him during rush hour.
Such is his existential purpose.

Interplanetary Intelligent Insect

The Interplanetary Intelligent Insect came to Earth by hiding in some exotic fruit brought back by astronauts from outer space.
Suddenly, there it was on the kitchen floor, big and ugly.
When it walked, it made an annoying clicky sound on the linoleum.
No insecticide known on Earth could harm it.

Thurber

Thurber is a monster that steals bandwidth from his neighbor's wi-fi internet connections.
Thurber has antennas which he controls with his mind.
He doesn't need a computer to surf or stream video...
He just thinks of a URL and can read it in his head.

Street Monster

Pike Place Market, Seattle
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

The Warbler Who Worried

The Warbler worried constantly about conspiracy theories.
What were they putting in the food? In the water? In the sky?
Was the secret world government really trying to reduce human population in order to control it better?
Was Michael Jackson a CIA operative who tried to defect?
Who was really behind the sabotage of the final episode of Lost?

Nero

Nero has cornered the chocolate market.
He traded in all his IBM, Research In Motion and Microsoft stocks...
Cashed in some Uranium bars he had stashed away in his spaceship...
And bribed a few officials to look the other way...
Then he moved in and made a killing on Wall Street!
Now if you have a chocolate craving, you'll have to sign a contract with Nero to pay for it in installments over fifteen years.

Street Monster

Pike Place Market, Seattle
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

Incredulo

Incredulo is a monster that always puts in doubt what you say.
He is quite the contrarian.
He used to be captain of a school debate team.
All of Incredulo's conversations are peppered with "You're wrong!" and "No, that's not it!" and "Don't be an ass!"
Charming fellow.

Flomox

Flomox is a monster who is always the last to know the news.
He doesn't surf the internet.
He doesn't twitter or Facebook.
He never watches television.
He doesn't own a cellphone.
He has no friends.
It's time to come out of your cave, Flomox!

The Replacement Teacher

The Grade Two Replacement Teacher never had a class of her own.
She has never taught little children.
No school principal ever really trusted her alone with kids.
It's a bit her own fault.
She complained once that as a replacement teacher all she would get
would be the leftovers.

Vassili

Vassili used to be a thug in the Russian mafia before he became a monster.
His boss Dmitri caught him one day holding out on the organization.
Dmitri had Vassili dipped into a big vat of radioactive toothpaste which turned him into a weird monster.
By the way, it's interesting to note that all toothpaste in Russia is radioactive.

Street Monster

Monster found in a back alley of the Beaubien Subway in Montreal.
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

Horatio

Hi kids, my name is Horatio and I'd like to talk to you today about the solar system and its planets.
First, closest to the sun is the plant Mercury, followed by Venus, then your own home planet the Earth.
Next, in the following order, are the planets Mars, Jupiter, Neptune and Uranus.
Following those is Pluto, which is now considered too small to be a cataloged as a planet.
After Pluto is my own artificial war planet of Klogg, where our flying saucer armada is stationed.
Oh, but excuse me, you're not supposed to know about that one.
Please forget that I mentioned it.

Formaldehyde Wanderer

Formaldehyde Wanderer is a being that lives in a flying saucer in a big jar of formaldehyde.
You know how you skin curls when you've been sitting in the bath too long?
Well it's the same thing for Formaldehyde Wanderer.
Except he has been soaking in it for decades...

Street Monster

Monster found at the corner of St-Vallier and Beaubien in Montreal.
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

Gromp

Gromp is a monster that just loves baseball.
He just can't wait until tomorrow's game.
Will Derek Jeter hit a home run?
Will A-Rod ever come out of his batting slump?
Which player will be traded next?
So many important things to worry about.

Pizza Face

Pizza Face is a monster who improves your appetite when you see him.
If I cross Pizza Face in the street, I get hungry for anchovies.
And a thin bread crust covered with a delicious tomato sauce, fresh garlic and herbs.
Bon appétit!

Street Monster

Monster found on the sidewalk of Sherbrooke Street in Montreal.
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

Emily the Elf Princess

I am Emily the Elf Princess and I like to sprinkle pixie dust.
It makes plants grow and flowers bloom!
Some gardeners have complained that I should instead try to garden organically without any chemicals.
It's hard to change my habits, but I will try.

Blue Narcissus

Blue Narcissus looked at his sister and said,
"I believe I am better looking than you, Sis!"
He left her there speechless to admire himself in the mirror.
For a few hours.

Street Monster

Monster found in a back alley of Sherbrooke Street in Montreal.
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)

Anubis

I am Anubis, the ancient Egyptian deity, gatekeeper and ruler of the underworld!
Stone sculptures were made in my image nearly 5000 years ago.
I have frequently been depicted in editions of the Book of Dead as performing the "Opening of the Mouth" ceremony on the mummy and statues of the deceased.
Why are you yawning? Am I boring you?

Mommb

Mommb is a small monster made out of modeling clay.
He used to be all blue, but he was attacked by a class of kindergarteners.
The children pulled him apart into tiny pieces, then rolled him up and pasted him back together again.
Today he finds himself all mixed up with pieces from another modeling clay monster who used to be all brown.

The Globular Scintillator

The Globular Scintillator is a gooey monster with a brain in the form of a shiny diamond.
He glows in the dark with a greenish hue, while making slurpy sounds.
When he hears dance music, laser beams of different colors shoot out from his body.
And he becomes like a living disco light show!

Street Monster

Monster found in a back alley of St. Catherine Street in Montreal.
(unknown artist, photo by Sophie)