Peanut Head

Peanut Head is a wise old monster.
He never takes a hasty decision unless he has to.
The last decision he made was to make himself a sandwich...
Two hundred years ago.

The 500 Foot Monster Easter Bun Bun

The 500 Foot Monster Easter Bun Bun was mutated by pesticides in the carrot patch.
He has grown to 500 feet high and he devours whatever chocolate he can find.
Which, according to Greenpeace, is a very bad thing as chocolate bars use palm oil from unfriendly forestry companies in Indonesia that decimate rain forests for profit.
All things considered...
It's time to nuke Bun Bun.
At least twice.

The Beach Volleyball Monster

The Beach Volleyball Monster plays to win.
If he can return the ball with a smash to the sand, then he's happy.
He wants to destroy your confidence...
And make you look bad in front of the cute girls in bikinis.

The Monster That Lives in the Bottom of the Municipal Swimming Pool

The Monster That Lives in the Bottom of the Municipal Swimming Pool is always in the water during the hot days of summer.
He has a collection of coins and keys that were accidentally dropped in the pool.
He uses the coins to buy treats at the vending machines next to the pool.
Otherwise, he never leaves the water, even when it is closing time...

Eyeful

Eyeful has seen many things in his travels to distant worlds.
He has witnessed alien races dying out...
Double neutron stars exploding...
Pink space gases whirl, spinning into black holes...
Now he has come to Earth to view the final season of "Lost"...

Two Tails

Two Tails is a horrible lizard creature you don't want to meet.
It has double the usual number of tails.
Each tail has razor sharp spikes!
If he whips them around, he has a deadly derrière!

The Pale Ghost

The Pale Ghost is a monster that is in front of his computer too much.
He checks his e-mail every five minutes.
He scans his RSS feeds all day.
He sends silly jokes to his so-called friends on Facebook.
Go outside and get a life, Pale Ghost!

Pax

Pax is a monster whose idol is Confucius.
Confucius was a Chinese thinker and social philosopher, whose teachings and philosophy emphasized justice and sincerity.
Pax believes we can all get along...
You can too!
Start tonight in your home by sharing the television remote control with your loved ones!

Fatim

Fatim was a bad monster who was guilty of identity theft on the Internet.
But he has been caught and is being punished!
He is now in stasis behind the energy bars of the Green-on-Red Prison.
From which no monster has ever escaped.

The New Receptionist

The New Receptionist can handle many telephone calls at the same time.
Plus she is very efficient in meetings...
Once she's done, other people have nothing more to say.
They sit around the meeting table in stony silence.

God of War

The God of War decides which country in the world should be democratized next.
If it's a country with useful natural resources, it is placed at the top of the list.
It doesn't matter if that country elected a leader: if he has a beard, he can easily be discredited.
The troops will be assembled.
The demagogues will rationalize.
The politicians will argue and waffle.
The nationalists will praise the flag and shine the bayonets.
And soon...
After a few brief skirmishes...
And some minor collateral damage...
We will have a new emerging nation somewhere in the world.

The Obliterator

This little monster enjoys blowing things up so much when he plays video games that his friends have started calling him "The Obliterator".
He loves to hear tanks go boom!
Crashing helicopters go ka-zow!
Bombs exploding!
Cars bursting into flames!
With so many useful skills...
Who knows what The Obliterator will become when he grows up?

Selfish Stan

Selfish Stan only wants to watch his own programs on TV.
He's a real hog with the remote control.
Come on, Selfish Stan!
Let us watch, "American Idol"!

Funkytown

Funkytown has got soul.
He's got the moves.
He has a way with the ladies.
He just doesn't have a driver's license or know how to swim.
(with guest artist: Pierre Otis)

The Green Soldier

The Green Soldier really only wants peace for the world.
Mankind in harmony with monsters.
All the little children learning good things in nice schools...
Beautiful and delicate flowers to all...
Meanwhile he practices on his bazooka.

May I Help You?

"May I Help You?" is an evil genie that has gone a little stir crazy in his magic lamp.
He's been interrupted too many times a day by his master rubbing the lamp and ordering him to do some cool magic.
The other genies think he needs a vacation.
That's because he answers his cell phone mumbling, "May I Help You? May I Help You?"

Mombo

Mombo is a monster that gets fat just by breathing air.
He has tried exercising to lose weight.
Also jogging, biking, and hiking up mountains...
But that makes his huff and puff and breathe very deeply...

The Unicorn with an atomic cannon on its tail

The Unicorn with an atomic cannon on its tail is a fearsome monster!
It can trample you with its tiny feet...
Or blow you to kingdom come with the weapon on its tail...
Either way, you're a goner.

Murphy the Monster

Murphy the Monster is a bit of a busybody.
He is interested in what his neighbors are up to.
If there are too many dandelions on the lawn next door...
He wonders constantly if it means something.

Oogie

Oogie is a monster that invented a new kind of dancing shoe.
He is famous in Berlin, Paris, London and Milan and discos around the world.
When questioned about his inspiration, he hesitates.
"All great work must come from both the heart and the soul," he explains.

Cyclotron Hands

Cyclotron Hands is a monster that wants to use nuclear energy for the benefit of mankind.
He wants to generate clean energy that will eliminate the need for coal mining and petroleum products.
If we follow his plan, electricity will be unlimited and free for all.
Public transit will be so efficient no one will need cars anymore.
Needless to say, Cyclotron Hands has made many enemies with big businesses and unions.

Boogaloo

Boogaloo loves to shake his body and dance his troubles away.
He does his fancy steps in the living room to forget everything and get
happy!
You should see him do the mashed potatoes...
When his credit card bill comes in!

Strange Bird

Strange Bird is the last monster of his kind.
He lays great big golden eggs, pretty much every day.
That comes out to a lot of moolah at 1200 bucks an ounce.
And all this bird likes to eat is Cheerios.

Eyes Have It

Eyes Have It is a political monster.
He was elected mayor of the city, but that's not enough for him.
Now Eyes Have It wants to move into the national arena.
He ultimately wants to be planetary overlord.
Will you vote for him in the next election?

Simpleton

Simpleton is a monster that trusts the government.
He believes his elected officials are working hard for his well-being.
That the nation is led by the best qualified people in the land.
He also believes there is a hot line connecting the people in charge with Santy Claus.

Sinisto

Sinisto is afraid of the skiing course his Mom enrolled him in.
He thinks someone will push him at the top of the hill...
... And he will zoom straight down, yelling, until he hits a tree!
Wham!
Fortunately, Sinisto's Mom will re-assure him.

Solarr

Solarr the living fire burst wants to play dodge ball.
It's fun to play with him, he's a nice fellow.
But as soon as the ball hits him...
It is vaporized in a small explosion of flames.

Dalab

Dalab is a monster who is an expert on TV shows.
He watches television all day, that's all he is interested in.
He can tell you all the actresses who played the same role on any soap opera you can name.
He is greatly admired on the Internet chat groups.
Unsurprisingly, he's also on welfare.

The Bottle Straw Slurper

The Bottle Straw Slurper makes a lot of noise with his soda pop bottle trying to suck up the last gulp.
Sluuurp! Sluuurp!
He keeps at it for an hour or more, annoying everyone around him.
Finally, he forgets he is thirsty and stops.

Massimo

Massimo is a powerful monster from Alpha Centauri.
That's a galaxy far away from our own.
Massimo can rip traffic light poles out of the ground and bash them into cars!
He's strong!
Massimo says that he's a pacifist...
But he carries a big stick around and if you step on his foot, he will squash you!