The Monster in the Iron Mask

The Clown in the Iron Mask sits in the basement of King Louis XIV's dungeon.
He has been jailed since his birth and has never known his parents.
Some wicked tongues whisper he is of noble lineage.
That is why the warden makes sure he only gets prime Grade A stale bread for his daily meal.

ET disguised as a dinosaur

66 million years ago or so, a shape-shifting extra-terrristrial being landed on Earth looking for intelligent life.
It found herds of dinosaurs everywhere.
In an effort to comunicate, it transformed itself into an Iguanodon and mingled.
After a few weeks of grazing with the others, it came to a solemn conclusion.
"This rural life is pleasant, not at all fast paced like city living," it told itself.

Flower Power

Flower Power is for the protection of the environment.
Our planet must be saved from Big Business.
Stop oil exploration and develop solar power.
Flower Power simply doesn't want to be mowed down.

Thumb Tail

Thumb Tail has a secret: he had his tail enlarged.
He was actually born with a meager excuse of an appendage.
He struggled day by day to live with his anatomical humiliation...
Until he received a fateful email selling a way to obtain a bigger and better-looking tail in 10 days, or your money returned.
Unbelievably, the device he purchased actually worked.
The internet is your friend.

Sleeping Man

Sleeping Man is an ancient Greek who was turned to stone by Medusa.
Finally, centuries later, we are today able to reverse his condition from a petrified statue back into a human being.
The operation has been initiated, and he is now half alive.
Unfortunately, there was an interruption in the procedure because Sleeping Man currently has no medical insurance.
So if you have any loose change you'd like to donate, please feel free to click on our Paypal link.

Hortense, the Three-Headed Gorgon

Hortense, the Three-Headed Gorgon was a gluttonous monster of the deep.
After all, it had many mouths to feed.
It liked to eat dolphins, whales, krakens, the odd scuba diver...
She was many things, but Hortense wasn't picky.
Guest artist: Gaspard, Benjamin's friend

Santa Dino

In the late Cretaceous period, nobody believed in Santa Dino any more.
The bratty little dinosaurs were into bloody video games on their obnoxious cell phones and had no more time for magic and holiday cheer.
They were all bad little monsters.
That's why, one Christmas eve, instead of giving them each a lump of coal, Santa Dino decided his rounds were going to be extra short...
He was going to send just one big rock down from the heavens and get the business all over with.
An asteroid, to be precise.

The Surveillance Guy

The Surveillance Guy is a monster that keeps track of every click you make on the internet.
Every fudge cake recipe you downloaded.
Every Ebay bid you made for a Star Trek mug.
Every visit to monsteraday.com during work hours.

Tony the Torotherium

Tony the Torotherium wanted to win at sports all costs, so he decided to cheat.
He wanted to make his muscles bigger and become faster and stronger than anybody else.
So Tony took some illegal anabolic steroids.
However, he soon realized that things were not going according to plan...

Ghetto Lizard

I told that trashy Ghetto Lizard, "Where's my money you owe me, fool?"
The Ghetto Lizard squirmed and sidestepped.
"Well, you see my main main: it's like this..." he began.
So I shot him dead.

The great Horny Leech

The great Horny Leech slithered across the queen's gardens, wreaking havoc in its path.
Munching on purple tulips, it grew and grew.
Soon it was 50 feet tall and headed towards the palace.
Nothing could stop it.
For a moment, the loyal subjects became frantic it would attack the queen herself!
But it wasn't that crazy.

Kress-Gorr

Kress-Gorr is a sorcerer who is trapped in a strange mystic realm he cannot escape from.
This immortal wizard has been throwing spell after spell in order to break down the barriers that entrap him.
"One day I will break free and wreak havok on the ones who sent me here..." he rages.
"...Those boneheads at the travel agency who assured me it was a five-star hotel!"

Bird means business

"Bird means business," said the fowl-shaped monster at my door.
"I'm not sure I understand what you mean?" I replied, intimidated by the sheer size of the beast.
It reeked of a strange odor, I realized...
The smell of blood.

The Blathering Bacillus

The Blathering Bacillus was a microbe of alarming proportions, which jabbered from morning to night to anyone who might pass by.
It talked about the weather.
It talked about the upcoming elections.
It talked about the dead cat that had been run over on the street.
It talked about the neighbors who had the flu.
It talked about what was on sale today at the shopping center.
The Blathering Bacillus was a pestilence of rare toxicity.
Guest artist: Gaspard, Benjamin's friend

Colony of Behemoths

The behemoths stare across the desert sands, the double blue suns in the
sky bearing down an unearthly light.
A colony such as theirs is a rare thing on their barren, dying planet.
"It's a good thing our kind we can survive by eating sand," thinks one of
the beasts.
"And it's a really good thing we stocked up on ketchup before the stores
closed for good."

The Mashed Up Extra Dimensional Tourist

The Mashed Up Extra Dimensional Tourist started his strange and unexpected voyage by stepping through a 29th Century hyperspace portal.
Unfortunately he hadn't paid his electrical bill in time and his power was cut off just as he was stepping through.
Thus was he trapped in an unspeakable dimension no one ever returns from!
He can see and understand everything we do or say...
But we can't see or hear him.

Snuffles

Snuffles has a trunk instead of a nose, just like an elephant.
When he catches a cold, it's a big deal.
Watch out when he sneezes!
It's sort of like being splashed by a bus in the street right after a
typhoon.

Centor

Centor is a bubbly monster.
"Gloop! Gloop!" says Centor.
That means he wants to kiss you.
Wait a minute, is Centor a boy or a girl?

Space Crab

Space Crab and his faithful sidekick Bucko emerged from hyperspace.
They had been traveling a long ways and felt mighty hungry.
Unfortunately Bucko had become a vegan recently and not all restaurants were suitable to his needs.
Although a meat lover himself, Space Crab felt compelled to accompany Bucko wherever he went.
After all, he had saved his life once.
Guest artist: Gaspard, Benjamin's friend

The Extinct Prehistoric Accident of Evolution

The Extinct Prehistoric Accident of Evolution had wings instead of fingers.
Three legs instead of four.
It had a great big head that was rather heavy.
Worst of all, it thought predators were his friends.

Delenoid

Delenoid was a fraidey cat.
If a train passed by a few streets away, Delenoid jumped up with a start.
"What was that? What was that!" he yelled in fright.
Delenoid was afraid of his own shadow.
He never left his house.
It hadn't always been like this.
He had been a happy and well-adjusted camper once.
Until he had started reading monsteraday.com daily, that is.

Digestorr

Digestorr likes to eat.
Watch him swallow, see it it go down his esophagus...
Into his churning stomach...
And down, down, even deeper.
I don't know about you, but it sure opens up my appetite!

Funky Freddy

Funky Freddy was a cool bird.
A monster with a righteous attitude, man.
He took no lip from no one no when.
No how!
I man, I really dig that.
And so did he.
Like, you know?
Guest artist: Gaspard, Benjamin's friend

Blue Sam

Hello my friend, I am Blue Sam and welcome to my shop!
Are you here to shop for X-Mas, there are only a few days left!
Tell me now my friend, have you ever really shown your mother you love her?
Now is the time!
Here are a few platinum bracelets with rubies and emeralds...
See how they spell out, "Yo mama" ?

Bat Brent

Bat Brent likes to destroy.
He takes no pleasure in building things any longer.
Only in breaking things.
"There is no future!" he declares.
Bad Brent is a former Nortel stockholder.

Romeo the Positronic

I am Romeo and I have been programmed to say sweet things to you in order to make you feel better and have more confidence in yourself.
It took a team of 300 technicians, 500 engineers and few miracle breakthroughs in nanotechnology and robotics to build me.
It was very hard, seeing as my task is so difficult.
Now how do you feel right now?

Vittorio

Vittorio is a monster who is a renowned culinary chef on his planet.
His specialty is purple spaghettini.
"The meat balls have to be round and just so in size," he explains.
"A little extra garlic and paprika and five hours in the oven is all that is needed."
Five hours might seem like a really long time to wait.
"I am a very patient chef," admits Vittorio.
"But never for long."

Dre Donttt

Dre Donttt is a fearsome creature.
His kind are often found in
the cosmic arena as gladiators.
Gladiators have to pay income tax
just like the rest of us.
In fact, the government sometimes bleeds
them dry.

Mixed up Marv

Mixed up Marv believes in ghosts.
He thinks he has seen UFOs.
Once a week, Jesus or Buddha whisper a deep truth in his ear.
Marv knows he is the only one aware of these things.
It is sad, he thinks, how society has wandered away from the important truths.

Brendan of the Bat People

Brendan of the Bat People is a serious astronomer.
He studies how the Universe began.
He is studying the theory of supra-dimensional super strings
which stretch out to unimaginable sizes into what are called membranes.
When these membranes occasionally collide, they create a new Universe.
For long hours, Brendan reflects on the consequences of this theory, which predicts an infinite number of co-existing universes....
Then for lunch, Brendan has a fried chicken sandwich.

No Sense of Humor

No Sense of Humor is a monster that comes from a galaxy where telling a joke is a crime.
A pun is a felony.
A limerick can bring you the death penalty.
As for a dirty joke...